April is a beginning. Spring, first a little shyly, is now starting to explode everywhere around me. Yesterday a friend called: a street cat gave birth to six little babies just in the middle of the field in front of her house. She was worried something could happen to them since she – the cat – was not in a protected environment, but I said to her that I believe a mother knows best. I was thinking about this cat. She is gorgeous, with very long, white and black fur, a quite big and beautiful exemplar. Those previous months she had been making love with some cats, and now she is here, giving birth to her babies, like any goddess would. She is the spring.

And spring is in me as well. After long, complex and deep thoughts, I’ve decided that yes, I’d like to be a mother, and being in a lesbian relationship means I lack something: the sperm. I need to look elsewhere for it, and the only way that I will have full rights over my baby is to go to a private clinic abroad, in a country that would allow it, pay a great amount of money, and be made pregnant with a highly medical process: the IVF. I cannot explain how much this goes against my principles; I don’t want to do that. There are other more natural practices I can get pregnant with, but this is the only one that will allow me to have full rights over my baby. Beside the lack of sperm, this makes it very difficult for me and for all gay or single women to decide to be pregnant without completely relying on IVF, even if we are super fertile and could use other methods to be pregnant.

Isn’t it a topic that needs to be addressed? The “danger of the single woman and the threat she poses to civilisation” as Tanya Golds writes in one of her articles published by The Guardian a few years ago. This is not a new thing but is “an ancient narrative”: it has indeed been going on since patriarchy happened. Personally, I feel the State’s bureaucracy is trying to steal my right to use my natural power of creating life, unless I accept to be in a heterosexual relationship or to be made pregnant by a “man made method”, again a patriarchal practice, where men can at least feel to be more powerful than nature and also profit from it. To me, and surely to many women out there, this is a topic that should be discussed more and more.

Thank you to my friend April for editing the text.

1 year ago

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